On the building of computers.

Well, I built my new computer, and it now hums, loudly and proudly, at the center of my living room "entertainment desk". Without even overclocking it, it runs Oblivion "silky smooth" with all of the settings on max at 1920x1080.

Building it was not without some hard lessons, and so here is what I learned about buying parts and building a machine:

• Avoid "PowerUp" cases (and other "bargain" cases). Many of them arrive with dead PSUs (mine, fortunately, works). Beyond that, they are very flimsy and malleable, and they have a ridiculous "door" assembly around the peripheral bracket screws (which I removed and replaced with tape). As well, the case was so thin that my GPU would not fit. I actually had to use pliers to "chew off" a couple cm from the metal bracket so that I could plug it in.
• Again, be careful about the case/power supply you buy. This appears to be the most deception-ridden market in the PC parts world. I, unfortunately, was only checking for wattage and price. You also need to check for: (a) what fans does it include? Mine did not have any; fortunately, I got some free from a privately owned computer store. (b) what are people's experience with the PSU? Unfortunately, included PSUs do not generally have a good reputation. It's a gamble, especially if the case seller does not list any PSU specifications besides the wattage, or list the PSU's manufacturer.
• Don't be fooled by the "stars" ratings on online parts stores. They are misleading. It's much better to read the comments left by people who purchased the part. For cases, this is where you learn about dead PSUs. For motherboards, this is where you read about overclocking ability, stability, and features. A "4-star" item might have dozens of reviews trashing its quality, and the positive reviews might be from people with very simple needs, low standards, or who don't know what they're talking about. Read the comments.
  
• On CPU fans. Many of the bigger ones have the fan pointing to the side rather than out the top. I assumed that I was supposed to point the fan out the back of the case, and this was the way I originally installed it. The problem is that the CPU fan wasn't nearly as strong as a dedicated exhaust fan, and was never meant to replace a true exhaust fan. Sure enough, this picture of the Tom's Hardware $500 PC showed me the error of my ways. So I removed and resinstalled my CPU fan pointing toward the front of the computer. Keep in mind, no part is harder to install than the fan. Even my PC tech book (by Mike Meyers) says so, and this experience proved it. I was afraid of breaking my motherboard.

On the making of sandwiches.

Ever since college, one thing I have been known for is my sandwiches. My love of efficiency, thoroughness, depth and breath is expressed in this food, whose singular purpose is the elimination of the need for "sides" or "second courses". Un unh.

Living in Belgium for a couple of years, with institutional meals in the local idiom, I survived by making towering dagwood sandwiches that were the rough analogues of their American counterparts.

Now living on my own for almost a year, the sandwich continues to be my bulwark against both starvation and learning how to cook. But recently I have made a few discoveries that have made my dagwoods more enjoyable, more efficient, less messy, and something I have an urge to share. Here are a few of those discoveries:

• Always toast the bread. My toaster has a "Kellog's Pop Tarts" setting (a little bit of brand-tying there) which cooks it lighter than breakfast toast, but perfect for a sandwich.
  
• Eggs make everything better. For years, I always cooked (or over-cooked) an egg over easy for my sandwiches. Letting the yoke break and allowing the insides run all over the sandwich is a delight--use a piece of bread to get any that drips on the plate.
  
• However, lately I haven't hungered for drippy sandwiches. So I whisk the egg before cooking it into a yellow patty. Mini-omelet. Of course, having run out of bread on a few occasions, I've had no qualms about using a couple more eggs and turning the whole sandwich into an omelet.
  
• Onions are both delicious and ridiculously good for you. But raw, they're too crispy, and grilled, they're too slippery. But if you take the whole slice, dice it up, and whisk it with the egg before cooking, you have the perfect way to get onion into a sandwich.
• Cherry (or "grape") tomatoes are often less expensive per ounce, have great flavor, and do a great job of remaining anchored to a layer of mayonnaise. They're not as hard to slice as you think--in fact, there is less water spillage than with larger tomatoes.
  
• Getting the meat and cheese just right has always been tricky for me, but I discovered a little trick. I lay a couple slices of meat on a folded paper towel, and lay a bigger-than-1" cube of cheese on the meat. I microwave the assembly for 1 minute. The paper towel absorbs the juices from the meat, causing the edges to dry up and curl into a little shallow bowl. The cheese block melts evenly into the "bowl", allowing you to use lots of cheese, and, again, have it stay inside of the sandwich as you eat.
• A note on cheese. When I had more expendable income I was getting everything from Trader Joes. But be warned: in my experience, organic cheese molds extremely quickly. Now I get regular "poisoned" cheese from Safeway, in big cheap blocks; I cut them into smaller blocks and seal each one in a zip-lock baggie, which I suck the air out of before closing. Some people might think that's gross. Hey, I'll bet my cheese has less schmutz on it than your cheese, even after a couple of weeks in the fridge.
• Living on a tighter budget has also driven me back to iceberg lettuce. But a single head can make many sandwiches, and there is no excuse for throwing away a bulb that doesn't have any green left on it. Rather than haphazardly tear off lettuce, I pinch off the leaves individually at the stalk. With a new head of lettuce, a single leaf is plenty for two sandwiches (I cram it all into one). Just today, I finished off a head using 3-4 little bitty leaves, each with plenty of green. The stalk was the only thing I chucked.

So there you have it. I'm proud of my sandwiches. Want one?

Great article!

The ideology of teen pregnancy

Trying to build a $500 gaming computer

EDIT: I bought it. I went with a $10 cheaper processor (the E2180) and TigerDirect had a "Google Checkout" with a $10 discount promotion, so my final bill (after rebates) is $452.68

Last April, Tom's Hardware published an article about building a $500 gaming computer, and I've been stuck on the concept since (see: the summer plans blog below). My budget lately has been especially tight, but I figured with the help of selling my XBox 360 and some frugality, I could put this whole thing together.

The whole thing centers around an Nvidia 8800 GT 512MB graphics card, a cheap, overclocked Intel Dual Core (not Core 2 Duo), and a P35 chipset motherboard.

Keeping things under $500 is not easy, even a few months after the original article was written--they list components at cheaper prices than I can find them at now. I've been using NewEgg; a friend of a friend suggested that I try TigerDirect.com. Let's see how cheap I can build my system using both:

Tom's Sub-$500 PC (circa April)

NewEgg:

• Asus GeForce 8800 GT 512MB - $160 (But it has a $30 mail-in rebate, making it $130)
  
• Lite-On 20X DVD Burner - $22
• Rosewill ATX case + 450W PSU combo - $60 (this is about the same price TH paid for theirs, but theirs had a much weaker power supply. Rosewell seems to have a good reputation based on the buyer reviews.)
• Gigabyte GA-P35-S3G ATX Intel Motherboard - $75 (this isn't the "Ultra-durable" variety that TH recommends, but as I am not taking my computer off-roading any time soon, I think I can save $15 here)
• Intel Pentium E2180 2.0GHz - $70 (Everything I read says this is a great place to skimp if you don't mind overclocking)
• Arctic Cooling Freezer 7 Pro - $27 (I don't know what makes a good heatsink/fan combo, but this one gets recommended everywhere and has a 5-star rating after 1, 797 reviews).
• Western Digital Caviar 160GB 7200RPM hard drive - $45
• Wintec 2x 1GB PC2 6400 RAM - $40 (again, a case where most were $40, so I went with the one that had the most positive reviews).
• Total: $498.92 + $14.31 shipping - $30 mail-in rebate = $483.23

Now, let's see if TigerDirect can do any better:

• XFX GeForce 880 GT - $160 (also with $30 rebate)
• Lite-On 20X DVD Burner - $25
• Power Up Black ATX Mid-Tower Case with 450-Watt Power Supply - $40 (Big savings here; TD seems to have completely different brands of cases than NewEgg, most of them cheaper. Had a 4-star rating from 13 users--not a lot, but Tiger Direct doesn't get the volume that NewEgg does--this is their most popular case).
• Gigabyte GA-P35-S3G ATX Intel Motherboard - $75 (From NewEgg. Unfortunately, TD has a terrible selection of P35 motherboards. Their cheapest was $90, and all of them received lousy reviews as regards its overclocking ability.
• Intel Pentium E2200 2.2GHz - $70 (There seemed to be a $10 discount for several processors, so I treated myself to a $10 upgrade).
• Masscool 8W553 Intel Socket 775 CPU Fan - $20 (I don't know much about this brand, but it was popular and well-regarded. TD didn't have Tom's or NewEgg's recommended models).
• Western Digital Caviar 160GB 7200RPM hard drive - $50 (Yup, same drive, $5 more).
• Corsair Dual Channel TWINX 2048MB PC6400 - $57 ($32 after $25 mail-in rebate).
  
• Total: $421.93 + $82.58 (NewEgg mobo) + $26.77 shipping - $55 mail-in rebates = $476.28

OK, so the TigerDirect PC actually turned out to be a little cheaper. It has a slight better processor, and some not-so-great deals in other places. What happens if I buy the best parts from both venders?

NewEgg: Mobo, Graphics, Cooling, Harddrive, and DVD for $309.80 after shipping and rebates.

TigerDirect: RAM, Case+PSU, and CPU for $162.88 after shipping and rebates.

New total: $472.68 shipped.

Not bad, I'd say. Leaves room for a keyboard and mouse. :)

A little application of the model

Just briefly. See if you can figure out why I would describe the following groups in these terms:

Democratic Party platform: Animal, Modernistic, Monistic

Republican Party platform: Tribal, Modernistic, Monotheist

Catholic Church: Classical, Postmodern, Monotheist

Taoism/Confucianism: Classical, Premodern, Monistic

Third Reich: Tribal, Modernistic, Monistic

Islamic terrorists: Tribal, Premodern, Monotheistic

Orthodox Church: Classical, Premodern, Monotheist

Louvain Faculty of Philosophy: Classical, Postmodern, Monist/Monotheist (varies)

Forms of humanity?

Here is some idle speculation. I was ruminating the other day about whether history, the rise and fall of cultures, and evolving ideology might be explainable in terms of forms and an array of spectra. Again, I know the dangers of spectrum thinking, but it has its place.

Thinking back on my philosophy and theology studies (and reflecting on my recent crash course on world religions), it seems that humanity is alternatively pulled in a number of different cultural/ideological directions--but a finite number. In fact, a relatively small number. I have no pretensions to the discovery of laws. But if I could play the armchair anthropologist for a moment, I might delineate these directions thusly:

Value Orientation:
Animal - Individual
Tribal - Group
Classical - Universal

Intellectual Orientation:
Premodern - Undifferentiated Inclusive
Modernism - Differentiated Exclusive
Postmodern - Differentiated Inclusive

Ultimate Orientation:
Mythos - Animistic
Monism - Mystical
Monotheism - Religious

I believe that this model may be somewhat adequate to describe cultures, movements, ideologies, religions--virtually any shared lebenswelt, no matter the size, purpose, duration--understanding that such delineations are more or less artificial in themselves.

A note on "modernity". I have a very specific understanding of the term. It includes the following features:

• The elimination of teleology and analogy from the sphere of science, i.e., as sources of true knowledge that is binding across individuals.
  
• The development and absolutization of a general method of acquiring knowledge based on observation and organization of data.
• The cultural absorption of this epistemology and the dramatic response to it. Note that much of what is called "post-modernity" retains essentially modernistic epistemology; it is only the ambivalent disavowal of certainty within the same framework.

What I call "Postmodern" rejects modernity's rejections--it affirms the validity of teleology and analogy as sources of true knowledge, while at the same time retaining the contributions and insights of modernity.

Also, a note on the "Ultimate Orientation". I borrowed Ratzinger's differentiation of religions that can be found in his Truth and Tolerance, but I adapted it. Ratzinger claimed that, from mythical consciousness, a civilization may develop in three different directions: the monotheistic, the "mystical" (i.e. monist), or the rationalistic. I would suggest that the only difference between the rationalistic (read: atheist, irreligious, skeptical) and the mystical (monist) tendencies are whether the society has adapted an exclusive (modernist) or an inclusive (premodern/postmodern) epistemology.

My adaptation does involve an anachronism, since according to Ratzinger, post-mythical Rome was rationalist; the stories of the gods were considered "useful" rather than "true". Ancient Rome was already applying a sort of "Ockham's Razor" to the validity of the Odyssey and the Illiad. But I see no problem in suggesting that Descartes and his modernist heirs were preceded by skeptics who were their primordial archetypes.

I understand that this post is sketchy and disorganized. These notes are for my own recording.

Irony:

In the old days, you kept romantic relationships casual and light by not having sex. Today, the opposite is true: declaring your abstinence before a woman makes her think you're moving waaaay too fast. How did that happen?

When sex became ripped from its original home (nestled among marriage and family) and treated like just another dating activity, it completely lost its status (for some people) as the single most profound thing that two people can share with each other on this earth and in this life. The underlying secular assumption is that sex belongs to the same category of human activities as eating, sleeping, and excreting. This contributes not only to the image of celibates as freaks but also lends credence to the prejudice that we're chomping at the bit to fulfill "biological imperatives".

Tell a woman you're "waiting" for marriage, and she assumes you're waiting impatiently. Cue decades of comittment anxieties and stereotypes of religious people, and you've already been written off as four walls short of a YFZ cultist and a warden of the domestic prison.

All of this leads to another irony, namely, that premarital sex has become the litmus test to ensure that someone isn't too comitted, i.e., that they're just as terrified of permanence as you are, and that they buy into the same cultural trivialization of sex as you do. So now sex has come to mean virtually the opposite of its original, natural message. No longer, "I give myself to you wholly and without reservations," wordlessly pulsing in and through the sexual rythm. Now: "I am helpless to resist you, but I give only what I must, and I withold everything that might lead to an inconvenience, or to something [shudder] permanent." Zero public unity, technologically frustrated fertility, a single, isolated act without reprocussions, differing from picking each other's noses only in the degree of endorphins released.

In a society where people will abandon their bodies to each other before they exchange names, it is lost on most women I've encountered that I believe in caution and patience when it comes to life's big decisions. I'm the last person who would hastily wed for the purpose of fulfilling "biological imperatives." I'm as much a comittment-o-phobe as anyone. But I refuse to despair of the unique happiness accessible only to long-wed, faithfully married couples, and to exchange that promise for a cheap and temporary substitute, robbing a potential future wife the status of my one and only.

Update, summer goals, and other brick-o-brack

There are a lot of things happening in my subjective corner of the world, so perhaps it is worth a semi-biographical update. This summer is going to be extremely busy for me. Unfortunately, it hasn't started yet. I know! the high school I work at ends and begins a month later than most colleges I know about.

A. Reconnecting with God. I need a kick in the butt when it comes to church involvement. I've been hanging on for dear life, and apart from old bad habits, I haven't compromised any of my Catholic values. But I haven't exactly striven for excellence, either. When I become mindful of God, the first fact that confronts me is my horrible inadequacy. My prayers always beg God to overlook their unworthiness. I have an acedia that is old and big and heavy, and the burnout of trying unsuccessfully to fight it while in the seminary has turned into a sort of embittered complacency. I've lost the war against my own torpor. Maybe I'll declare a new one, but I'm tired, and I don't care as much as I used to. Two scripture verses rise up to condemn me: Galatians 6:9 and Revelation 6:13. But others offer me hope. Ezekiel 37, and Luke 4:18-21. But the hopeful passages represent a hope in God, not a hope in myself. God has sent me the invitation, and I need to at least RSVP.

B. Reconnecting with friends. Thanks to Facebook, I have been contacted and "friended" by dozens of friends from the seminary and from high school. Unfortunately, I just found out that I missed Fr. Nick Parker's priesthood ordination. GUILT. Nick, I am so sorry, I've been so absorbed in things here I didn't even think to check my calendar. I could have taken days off to come and see you, and I did not. But I would like to take a week out and visit friends from the seminary. As well, I have the ordination of my own former 'diocesan brothers' to think about. Basically I need to get my butt back into Facebook and see who I can reasonably visit, within the boundaries of time and budget. Facebook is a wonderful tool for people like me who tend to drop off the face of the earth; I should stop neglecting it.

C. Getting healthy (especially teeth). I need to schedule appointments with dentists, doctors, and therapists to make sure that I have all of my bodily ducks in a row.

D. Getting skilled/certified. Now that I'm almost done being a teaching, I need to go back to being a student. I'll be collecting lots of important pieces of paper in the next months, including: A+ computer tech certificate, GRE completion, SEI completion, motorcycle license, Diocesan ministry certificate, etc.

E. Planning the new year. No more over-night frenetic planning sessions for me. My second year of teaching is going to be smooth and exciting. I do not want to miss this opportunity to lay out the year, establish a limited set of goals and a series of small, achievable steps to reach them, and to take those steps.

F. Satisfying more material concupiscence. I used my "economic stimulus package" check to buy a 37" Westinghouse LCD monitor (it's a TV without a coaxial cable input, but I achieved a work-around by connecting a coaxial via an old VCR from Good Will). I also managed to pick up a couch, a nice dinner table (free), and possibly, soon, a free recliner. I'm turning my dark little cave of an apartment into a welcome place for guests and gatherings. The last piece of the puzzle at this point is that my walls are still bare.

There's also the video game itch. The biggest itch right now is to be able to play World of Warcraft, which I enjoyed on my ancient (2001) Dell system for the 10-day demo, and now would like to get into more extensively. Considering that the only game I play on my XBox anyway is Oblivion, and it is available on the PC (with downloadable mods!), the XBox is doomed to be replaced with a halfway decent gaming PC. The other major itch is the Wii + Mario Kart and Smash Brothers. The Gamecube versions of these games were staples of my seminary entertainment repertoire.

The last item I've been long contemplating is a motor scooter (hence the motorcycle license above). At the time that I replaced my car, a hybrid vehicle was simply out of my means; unfortunately, even a car with 26mpg in the city is painful to fill up for $160 a month. At that rate, a $4-grand motor scooter would pay for itself after a couple of years, prolong the life and value of the car, take the cost equation out of inner city travel, etc.

G. The dating game. For the last month and a half or so, I've been actively dating. So far, I've made a few good friends, including one who has become very dear to me, but so far I haven't met anyone with much romantic potential. My wise younger brother reminds me that if I go back to grad school theology full time, I'll be surrounded by pretty, like-minded Catholic women. This provides a good amount of caution against becoming too attached to somebody right now. Still, love and relationships can be an unpredictable thing. Last Saturday I had Thai food with a girl who enjoys video games, science fiction, and talking about religion. She also plays the cello, digs the "goth" style, and, oh yeah, is really, really pretty. So far, she seems to have her head screwed on more or less tightly. Always a plus. And yet nothing is ever that simple. Sigh.

So that's what's going with me in a nutshell. I have a week left of exams to take care of, and a few days the following week up cleaning up after myself before I am finally and irrevocably free. Say a prayer for me that my summer follows God's will.

On the homosexuality thing

I am not above engaging in typical blog behavior and weighing in on current events. The California supreme court declared that laws prohibiting gay marriage violate the California constitional right to marriage. Specifically, the statement goes:

Furthermore, in contrast to earlier times, our state now recognizes that an individual’s capacity to establish a loving and long-term committed relationship with another person and responsibly to care for and raise children does not depend upon the individual’s sexual orientation, and, more generally, that an individual’s sexual orientation — like a person’s race or gender — does not constitute a legitimate basis upon which to deny or withhold legal rights. We therefore conclude that in view of the substance and significance of the fundamental constitutional right to form a family relationship, the California Constitution properly must be interpreted to guarantee this basic civil right to all Californians,whether gay or heterosexual, and to same-sex couples as well as to opposite-sex couples.

Where do I begin? If I was going to analyze this from a Catholic point of view, I would have to break down the relevant issues into a list--for there are several. Those issues do not form a single conglomerate, but belong to different major groups. The biggest questions would be those concerning:

1. The relationship between morality, law, and public values.
2. The origin and nature of the "right to privacy" and the role of government in legislating matters that have private dimensions and public ramifications.
3. The precise reasons for special cultural and/or religious opposition to homosexual behavior.
4. The public ramifications of homosexuality (a) as open and practiced, (b) as defining unions that become the center of a family in charge of raising children, and (c) as recognized on equal terms with heterosexuality as a basis for marriage.
5. The role of the Supreme Court, and the instruments it uses, in determining the conformity of legislation to a constitution.
6. How homosexuality fits within the context of civil rights, and whether it has distinctive characteristics in this context.
7. The definition of marriage, the definition of the "right to marry", and the public qualities of marriage as distinct from concrete legal priviledges granted to couples as such.

Obama and elitism

I have been amused by the debate about whether Barack Obama is an elitist. The debate usually goes something like this: "He said that people cling to religion and guns and provincialism because they're bitter." "Obama had the most humble origins of any of the three major candidates; it's ludicrous to call him elitist."

Where I fall in this debate is, actually, closer to those call him an elitist. But Barack's is not the elitism of a character flaw or the elitism of the upper class. No, it is the elitism of the university. And properly speaking, it is not elitism at all (any more than Catholic doctrine on the nature and purpose of sex is "homophobic"). It would be more accurate do describe Obama as a faithful adherent to doctrines prescribed and having a powerful hold over western university culture.

Such doctrines, which echo through the halls of sociology faculties and across the fields of student newspapers and demonstrations, are bound to view the human race as a curious creature more often governed by simple impulse than by reason or scientific truth--that is, after all, why Bush was elected for two terms. And religion itself, in any traditional sense, is more likely to be praised (if at all) for the sociological benefits it provides "simple people" than for opening the door to eternal life.

Now, Barack Obama is a Christian, and I believe, a sincere one. In fact I might regard him the most Christian of the three major candidates. But this doesn't change the fact that he already belonged to another religion before his sincere conversion--the religion of the university. And so, I suspect, his perspective will always draw a line between his Christianity, governed by the "pure reason" of his academic background, and the Christianity of the "bitter people".

Obama talks a great deal about religion. For once I would like to hear him talk theology. That's different. Mr. Obama, why do you believe that the execution of a Jewish man by Roman authorities in ancient Palestine means that you have access to eternal life because you were dunked in water and have a few opinions you call "faith"? That's the question I would like to hear Obama answer.