This is a snippet of a message I wrote to another Catholic.
"I think a big chunk of my "melancholy" is acquired. The gap between the idealism inculcated in the seminary, and the cynicism and laxity of parish operations, drives me to distraction. On the one hand, I want to be a priest so that I can show people that the Church and the liturgy and the faith are beautiful, life-giving things (even without our silly "adaptations"). On the other, I don't think I could handle all of the opposition I would get with much grace. This is how curmudgeons are born.
Seems to me Catholics have been force-fed Sesame Street theology and liturgy for fifty years; it's no wonder so many (especially men) choose instead the gritty "real world" offered by secular commercialism. It was only because God saw fit to give me a non-BS Catholic formation that I stayed. That doesn't mean I have a harsh or heartless Catholicism (although sometimes I feel that way when I get all uppity and offended, heh). Just means I don't paper over suffering and sin with euphemisms, superficial gestures, and ego-coddling music. "